I have struggled with perfectionism my whole life. If you’re anything like me, your ego carries a dialogue within you that charges up your desire to be the best or do it best.
I have noticed in my own shadow work that words my ego creates around this energy that is essentially draining, impossible to achieve, filled with loads of effort, and yet like the dangling carrot in front of my face meant to be endlessly chased.
One of the key insights that came about as I looked within myself to work with this energy was a simple yet profound exchange of energy I could create within my body, most especially my fourth chakra, the Anahata or Heart Chakra, which I see as a space that holds shape for the energy that codes my self-esteem. This is the energy center where many of us hold the keys to our self-esteem.
I was storing the energy in my heart space that said “am I doing it right?” It felt really valid and like it had served some purpose for me. I have been feeling the weight of the energy come to my awareness recently, and as I got curious and looked at how this vibration showed up in my space I decided that it was time to switch things up and recreate how that energy was set. No more trying to be perfect or putting unrealistic expectations on myself, that made me feel less than.
I let that old vibration go. It appeared like a rusty orange and dropped like the weight of ten bricks in my chest. I then replenished myself with the vibration of, “I’m doing my best.” Ahhhh, it felt like a long satisfying exhale of relief. That brought in beautiful shades of blue and felt like expansion, freedom, grace, as well as an infinite level of permission to just simply do my best, whatever that may look like.
And while I am sure that there are layers to uncover around this vibrational transformation within my heart, I will say it has felt as if I dropped a lead jacket filled with unnecessary expectations and pressures.
Check-in with the space around your Heart Chakra. Are you putting an insane amount of pressure on yourself there to be perfect? Can there be more room to let in feelings of doing your best being enough? Notice if being more accepting towards yourself feels lighter, and give yourself permission to be kind to yourself more often. You might see your self-esteem increase in the process.
By Angela Droughton
Give your Heart Chakra some love with yoga from your home!
Anahata Chakra Vinyasa with Les Leventhal
Heart Chakra Yoga: Backbend Flow with Cicily Carter