Have you ever felt like you are living a Shakespearean play within, conflict and drama a plenty? Romeo and Juliet taking duel inside, the battle of head and the heart? Where courage challenges consideration to a duel and thought stabs thrill in the back?
At heart, I am all Romeo, full of passion, love and extremes. Loyal to a detriment, I’m often tempted to act foolishly in defense of those I do love dear. This is an example of the heart winning over the head. Oh, the angst and drama that overtakes my life, where it would be all too easy for my heart to throw away any logical order that exists in my life, and insteads leads me on spontaneous adventures and lust inspired indulgences. Life would be fun and fabulous. My heart sometimes guides me to just ignore the dose of danger waiting in the wings.
Many times however, I do give thanks to the dear Juliet who lives in my head, which keeps me level and sane. As independent and loyal as Romeo, she is thankfully more capable and self assured. The obedience and determination of my head, my inner Juliet, sometimes pacify the longings of my heart and inner Romeo rampages. The refined and evolved nature of the head have got me to where I am today and without my inner Juliet, I fear for what my life would be like.
Admittedly, not as spirited as the heart, the head certainly has more nerve and resolve, preventing me from taking the cowardly approach that my inner Romeo often whispers. A stabber over a poison taker, Juliet is ever the planner. Shakespeare did not pen the words “Juliet, Juliet, where for art thou Juliet”, though many times I am hanging on a precipice with Romeo calling those exact words.
Juliet (my head) indeed has many a time been my savior, but plenty of times my tormentor.
I was born a thinker, naturally more in my head than in my heart. Juliet reigned my kingdom, where a naïve, timid and shy soul went about her days. I grew to dislike her, frustrated by her need to please everyone and overthink to the point of inaction, trapped and tortured under my own doings. Depression slumped upon me, as my head produced fears of the future and anxious dwellings on the past. “O teach me how I should forget to think”, I pleaded.
The Juliet ideals of “I will try to love him” became my mantra, wanting, desperately trying to be the one who pleased all, above pleasing me. Her weakness and inability to act with any conviction had me at times, wondering why Shakespeare waited so long to kill her off.
In my twenties, I started hearing my inner Romeo whisper more from his residence in my heart.
At first he was charming and idealistic, making subtle, poetic suggestions of alternative ways I could live my life. Over time his wit got quicker, his voice got louder, his words more melodic and persuasive. Eventually, he boldly opposed every planned Juliet pattern, with a reactive and unthinking alternative.
My inner Romeo made me a bit crazy however. Life was a constant Shakespearean sized battle. I would act in Romeo like extremes and run from one emotion filled escapade to another. I would shake my head and wonder when maturity would hit, hoping it was sooner then hitting rock bottom.
Juliet would watch on with a sad look of disappointment as I constantly fell short of my inner ideals. It was like the angel and the devil sitting on a shoulder each, bartering and bargaining to get my approval. With Juliet in my head and Romeo in my heart, internal turmoil surrounded.
At fear of facing certain death as Romeo and Juliet fought each other to rule my soul, the use of a “sleeping potion” seemed fitting. I saw no other way, seeking anti-depressants to kill them both off, as the “to be or not to be” soliloquy rang all to close to home. I just wanted both sides to surrender and give me time to recuperate. I feared that “for never was a story of more woe (t)han this of Juliet and her Romeo” would all too aptly apply to the demons within.
Over time, the dramatics of it all fell away. A shift occurred in perspective and Romeo looked longingly at Juliet “what light through yonder window breaks” seeing a deeper connection there than he ever had with Rosaline. A beautiful friendship evolved, Juliet the light to Romeo’s passion. In the second act of my life, we see the two live happily every after in unison.
The head and the heart had found unity and balance.
My head ponders, “what’s in a name” and questions my need to please others and live up to society ideals and self expected perfectionism. “That which we call a rose, by any other word would smell as sweet” she reminds me, I am worthy of my own love and merits, giving me courage to live this life for me.
Romeo now guides my ways, connecting me to the present, allowing me to fully express my emotions and deep love. Never far, Juliet walks by his side, checking in to make sure both are fulfilled by my actions.
It is without question, the most beautiful love story around. Head and heart truly connect and become one, with my soul’s happiness at it’s highest intention.
I could not exist, be who or where I am today, if it wasn’t the coming together of the head and the heart in the most magical way. No longer does my head and it’s over thinking, constantly analyzing and fear fuelled concern; battle the reckless, reactive and emotional tendencies of my heart.
My head now analyzes the feeling within my heart and my heart considers the processes my head requires. This union is a far greater love story then that set in the 1500’s. Critics rejoice at the fairytale happily ever after ending filled with passion and longevity; viewer’s choice over the tragic demise of the star crossed lovers that William told.
Like in any post play analysis I ask, are there times in your life where Romeo and Juliet take residence within you? Do you fear “these violent delights have violent ends?” as you battle living with unrivalled passion, versus carefully constructed footpaths to success? Do you fear unconditional love of self, life or others, concerned by “loves heavy burden do I sink?’
My resulting love story, urges me, to ask you, to seek union.
Encourage Romeo and Juliet to learn from each other and co-habitat with your greatest good in mind. We all deserve to be a lover, but we aren’t destined to be foolish, our final act is yet to be written. “Borrow cupid’s wings and soar with them above a common bound” and savor the sweetness that life intends.
By Amy Booth
Amy is a yoga and pilates teacher and personal trainer in Brisbane, Australia, where she runs a cute riverside studio and a personal training business. In addition each year she runs a yoga retreat (Bali, August 2018) and hiking retreat (Australia, 2018).
To find out more:
Facebook: Amber Tree Yoga and Retreats
Practice yoga and meditation to find union between your heart and your head now!
Align & Flow: Mind in One Place with Jack Cuneo
Meditation: Heart Focused with Keith Allen
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