If falling in love is the best thing in the world, heartbreak has to be the worst. Heartbreaks are tough and understandably so; what you just believed to be true is no longer the case. While it may seem like your life is over, please know its not and you will get through this. Having gone through a recent heartbreak myself, I feel you.
After I realized another romantic relationship had come to an end, I experienced many peaks and valleys of emotions. Luckily, my yoga practice has taught me many things like patience, non-attachment, and compassion so I was able process the breakup in a healthy way. If you’re going through a heartbreak right now, please know you are loved by many. Then read on and test out my:
10 steps to break away from heart break and return to you.
STEP 1: Breathe.
Take a deep breath. Inhale through the nose. Exhale out the mouth. Repeat as many times as you need to calm your nerves. Your breath is your strength, your energy, your life force. Even in times you find yourself in complete disbelief, just breathe. When you heart is broken and you can’t imagine another day without him, just breathe.
STEP 2: Practice Yoga.
Our yoga practice allows us to return to the self and find that deep rooted connection that lies within. While the practice unveils our true essence, it also reveals the shadow side of the self. And while its very easy to put blame on the other person, its also important to discover the role you played in the relationship and how you may have contributed to its demise. Avoid being too critical of yourself and use your yoga practice as a chance to learn from the lessons and as a way to reconnect to yourself.
INSIDER TIP: Try out my class Yoga for Heartbreak.
STEP 3: Meditate.
Sit down in a comfortable seated position. If you are new to meditation, try vipassana, a method that invites you to acknowledge the random thoughts which enter your mind and simply notice what comes up. That’s all meditation really is; the practice to sit and observe. Discern which thoughts are self-deprecating or hurtful to others. Embrace thoughts that remind you of your strength, your power and your divinity. See the truth!
STEP 4: Listen to Music.
As the wise Bob Marley once said “The one good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” Sure, you can listen to love ballads and cry, just not for too long. Get up on your feet and blast your favorite jams. If you need inspiration, check out my Breakaway playlist on Spotify that served as a refuge through my last breakup. As my emotions ebbed and flowed, I added songs as needed so hope it serves you as well.
WARNING: This playlist favors the female perspective.
LINK TO SPOTIFY PLAYLIST
STEP 5: Write.
If you ever feel inclined to call or message her, try writing her a letter instead. There is so much power in putting pen to paper and letting your words spill out naturally. Explain your position, demonstrate your pain, ask questions, write from the heart. And while it may be tempting to send the letter, be sure to check in and understand the reasons why you need her to read it. Identify if its really going to help you put your best foot forward or if its going to pull you back into more heartbreak. I recommend writing it and then reading it to yourself a few times. Come back to it as needed then trash it. If it feels therapeutic, have a fire ceremony to honor your lost love and burn it in the fire.
STEP 6: Create.
Dance, write, sing, make art, design something new. Do something you love! When you pay attention to what drives you and what feeds your soul, you will remember who you are, who you have always been and you will start to uncover the beautiful person you’ll become post-breakup. Reconnect to your passions and you will instantly feel better!
STEP 7: Treat Yourself.
Be good to you! Pamper yourself! Enjoy a massage, get your nails done or try out a new hairstyle. You know that old saying “You only look as good as you feel”? Do what it takes to get to that place where YOU believe you look good and you will feel good too. Take a look in the mirror and marvel at the beauty in front of you! Smile!
STEP 8: Disconnect.
Take a much needed break from your digital devices. Stop scrolling. Stop reading and re-reading his old messages. Delete his number and your text history. Unplug. Do it now! I know this may be extremely hard to do but reliving old memories is just going to bring you backwards. Clear your inbox so you can also clear your mind. With this much needed digital detox, take the opportunity to get outside of yourself and outside of the house. Take a hike in the woods, go on a long walk in your neighborhood, explore! When you disconnect from that constant connection, you see things more clearly.
STEP 9: Reconnect.
Rely on those closest to you. These are the people that know you and believe in you. The ones that love you. Call your friend from home, your friend from college, your friend from camp, your cousin, your sister, your brother, your neighbor. Call them to vent, to cry, to analyze. Spread out the phone calls so they don’t get too annoyed or sick of hearing the same story. Don’t let them tell you what you want to hear. Instead, try to learn from their own experiences and see how you might be able to apply them.
WARNING: Your loved ones don’t always have the answers so its usually best to see a someone with an unbiased point of view for tough heartbreak. With mental health issues becoming so prominent in our culture today, I highly recommend therapy.
STEP 10: Forgive!
There is a reason this is the final step of the breakup process. This is the hardest step of them all. While it is easier to place the blame on your ex, it is not very helpful in the long run. We each have a role to play in our relationships and its important to take accountability of our positions. It may take time and some hard work on but eventually you can learn to forgive. Wish your ex-lover well and move on without resentment!
Best of luck with your new freedom friends! And always remember you are loved.
Denelle Numis (E-RYT 500) is a newly relocated Bay Area yoga teacher and a YogaDownload.com contributor. Denelle composes an authentic experience on the mat where each student can immediately connect with the rhythm of their body and their breath. With a background in modern dance, Denelle builds her Vinyasa classes through a progression of dynamic sequences to stimulate energy and vitality throughout the body. She infuses her classes with eclectic music and inspiring peak postures. Even though her classes may be challenging, Denelle’s vibrant and gregarious personality motivates her students to stay playful in their practice. For more info, check out www.denelleyoga.com or follow @denellejarro on Instagram!
Need some healing from heartache? Practice yoga now to help!
Yoga for Heartbreak with Denelle Numis
Heal Your Broken Heart with Elise Fabricant
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