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Ok world, I’ve done it! No drinking for a month. It actually wasn’t very hard. I still went out and just had soda water. I wasn’t a hermit. I still had fun with friends. I also realize that I prefer a balance of this yogic lifestyle and also living and enjoying this physical and by nature material world. I’m right in the middle of Dharma Mittra’s 500Hr Teacher Training. If I thought not drinking would be a challange...well, let’s just say I didn’t really know what I signed up for. No coffee, no caffeine, no eating before noon, no eating after 6pm, 45 minutes of breathwork and meditation daily, 1 hr of practice daily, no salt, no tree nuts, no coconut, basically no fun. Kidding! Kind of.

I’m in Spain, north of Barcelona on the Costa Brava, the rugged coast. The drink here, not to excess but as a daily, mealtime accompaniment. I’ve been observing this casualness and decided to partake in this celebratory, nonchalant part of the culture. A glass of wine (or two) at dinner seems to be part of the culture here which I don’t mind as I explore the coast solo. This while Dry 2018, is about being honest, getting clear, cleaning up the murky and messy. It’s not about perfectionism. It’s about intention. So I’m having a glass of Tempranillo, a local varietal. Not to numb, but because I’m on a solo vacation and it will help me sleep. My sister, who is basically my spirit guide and on what’s app whenever I need her, is basically saying yes to everything. Should I buy this dress that’s a little expensive? Yes. Should I indulge in this decadent meal? Yes. Should I have a glass of wine? Yes.

So by now I’m starting to get really clear on what’s going on, and not surprisingly it is related to all of the yoga teaching I preach on a daily basis. I suppose we all have a slightly different reason and inspiration for teaching or practicing yoga, but for me a focus of my classes are often what we learn when we come up against our edge. The past few months have been about more than just abstaining from alcohol, or shifting the need for comfort onto other things. I’m starting to realize it’s actually about me not wanting to get uncomfortable. More specifically, not moving out of my comfort zone. So I numb myself, and it doesn’t really matter if it’s alcohol, or shopping, or staying super busy, or gossiping to put the focus on other people and not me.

So my Dry 2018 has met the big Kahuna: a break-up! As I mentioned in Month 1, I’m not a huge drinker, but when this time of life comes around, your girlfriends (and sisters or guy friends, etc.) will no doubt hit you with “You need a drink” or “You can let that not drinking thing go now, right”? Well, not exactly. The advantage to being 36 and a yogi is that I don’t actually want to drown my sorrows. I actually want to feel them. I want to fully experience them and learn from them. I want to sit with them and see how I’ve helped create my current situation and how I can create something different next time. Mild drinking or smoking a joint or shopping or staying busy are all relatively acceptable forms of escapism in some yogi circles, but you reach a point in your life where you realize you either deal with it now, or deal with it later.

I’ve decided to stay “Dry” for all of 2018, and more importantly to share this journey with you all! It may not seem like a stretch to do a whole year without alcohol but for me it’s represents more than just staying sober. It represents being comfortable in my own skin. Alcohol has never been a super strong pull or vice, well ok, maybe in college when I’d be sober and diligently working towards a dance degree all week and when the weekends came we’d start things off with 5 shots of straight Absolut Vodka. Reality check! At 36 my relationship to alcohol is far from that youthful folly. A craft cocktail after a long week (or day) of work feels luxurious.

We all face a point in our life where things need to change. We can be directly inspired or have a traumatic life event shake things up. Either way many millennials are trading in the booze for green juice. For those suffering from a far greater issues of substance abuse, while challenging, it can be a simple, solvable and affordable choice. That is the good news. I love yoga but when I was drinking and doing these practices, I didn’t get the full benefits, because I wasn’t really doing the work. As a woman, society has always programed me to never feel like I was ever good enough. I didn’t look by normal standards to what people would consider “beautiful” and I struggled my whole life with the skewed perception of me as a person. So I drank. As most do to feel accepted in social settings. However, I learned some things along the way about being sober and spiritual and where these paths cross and where they don’t. So I am here to impart my humble experience about getting sober and becoming a yoga teacher and a spiritual person.