I found the photos, but I had to ask my “wusband” for a copy of them on disk and dig into my dusty storage unit to find the printed copies. This was before my meeting with Dove, after I sent in my grant proposal to Lululemon, and while I was training two new amazing yogini-support-goddesses, and booking three events for Girls Elevate. Oh, and of course there’s the lovely mini-goddesses who had signing recitals, band concerts, math issues, drama issues, boy issues, and are gearing up for summer like middle-school kids do.
I feel like I’m hitting it all out of the park! Well, maybe a few times I’ve had to stop at first or second base, but at least I’m hitting it and not striking out. And those stops were potent and powerful and very necessary. Because that’s what I used to do, not even try, pretend to be sick or ill-equipped, or skip to home plate without touching a foot on first, second or third.
I would hide my truth behind perfection. I was living in a world that was riddled in a perceived sense of safety and stability. And you know what that felt like? Prison.
I have TRUTH – FREEDOM – LOVE tattooed on my arm. I got that tattoo exactly one year after I divorced and exactly two days before I picked up my life and moved to California.
Here is what I have learned about truth.
It’s not just about telling the truth, it’s about knowing the truth. And you can’t possibly know your truth when you’re wrapped up in everyone else’s drama. It’s just not possible.
It’s not about speaking your truth, it’s about living it and owning it. And just in case you aren’t aware, the truth isn’t always pretty. Nope … it can be wrapped up in addiction, fear, guilt and resentment.
It’s not just about knowing your truth, it’s about feeling it from the inside out. And truth isn’t some superficial, cordial, obligatory post on Facebook either. Truth is felt in your gut and it spills out of you silently sometimes because it just needs to be acknowledged by you and you alone.
Oh and it’s not just about living it and owning it either, it’s about sharing it from a place of humility that heals others and yourself in the process. This is why I love yoga and why I’m full vested in Girls Elevate along with raising my two daughters consciously.
Because you see, in my past there was abuse, and drugs, and too much unconscious sex and not enough empowerment. Because there was fear, guilt, and shame. And I’m not the only one experiencing this wake up call either; I witness many of you with the same story as my own. And this isn’t a pity party, this is a coming out party.
Here’s what I say: enough of the blame, the pointing fingers, the bullshit; none of that matters. Not one single bit.
Own your truth and know that it’s ever evolving – you know what that means?
That your truth now, in this moment, is most likely different than the truth of say, your adolescent self. I know mine is. But the question to ask is: how long do you hold onto that old truth and live it as your now? Using it as an excuse not to shine your light or God forbid, perhaps help others find theirs
I’ll repeat what my teacher Seane Corn said to me (and to a class of about 100 others) in 2009 that shook me to my core:
How dare you live a life that is mediocre. How dare you know how beautiful you are and not share that gift. How dare you use any excuse to not live your dream. How dare you.
Your truth … your light … your gift … is sitting there, wanting to be metabolized into manifest form. Meaning it wants to be birthed in this life. And it’s your job to own it!
If you’re watering it down in fear, not listening to it because you can’t hear it, not expressing it because you are afraid to fail, the time is now to stop doing that and get on the ledge and live it.
I know it’s scary but my credo is: better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all – that is a life of regret, not trying. And you wanna know what? I’m ready to live an up-leveled version of my truth – again. Because there’s no place to go but up, all the time… to infinity and beyond!
The cool thing is, your truth is always evolving, always. So whatever you are experiencing now can be lived or changed. And the absolute best thing about it is, you get to drive.
By Dana Damara
“My passion on the mat is proper alignment, powerful breath and effortless flow so you feel that off your mat. Your practice becomes sacred space where you arrive to find more meaning, depth, authenticity and integrity in your life."
- Dana Damara: mother, author, yoga instructor, speaker and yogini.
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