I recently received an e-mail for a personal essays project. I was so excited that I responded with my pitch:
“I was thinking about writing about how my anxiety has made me a kinder person. While I can't always control how I feel, It makes me think twice about other people and the struggles they might be going through.”
I was so glad when I heard back that I would be able to share my experience, but now comes the tough part, writing this. So here goes nothing.
I picked this topic because honestly I stood in awe after the event we did on Mother’s Day for my non-profit, Girls Elevate. It came to me before the event … for days leading up to it actually. But I was preparing a thank you note to all the people who were there after the event, and I was in awe of the support that came so easily.
And then when I looked at that list, I realized that all those people were there in service with their gift, their passion, their purpose, their love of …whatever it was they were offering up.
I’m definitely dealing with a little Peter Pan syndrome as I face the stigma of turning the big 4-0. I certainly don’t feel old, but when my father turned forty I remember buying old fart pills from Spencer’s at the mall, and giving him a card with a picture of an old man using a walker. I have watched the movie This is Forty many times and deeply identify with Leslie Mann’s character when she says, “I don't wanna shop at old lady stores. I don't wanna go to J. Jill and Chico's and Ann Taylor Loft. I’m not ready yet."